I just sent my second query

Sunday, February 04, 2007, 7:39 PM

I just sent my second query to an agent. This particular agent, like the one I sent my first query to, is a one-man operation, specialising in commercial genre fiction. Unlike the fitst agent, he prefers queries by email, so I've sent one off. It'll be interesting to see which of the two responds first.

I've also completely rewritten my hook. I found my existing one far too long to fit into a business letter, so it's been pared right down to show the key points - protagonist, antagonist, conflict, stakes - as per Miss Snark's guidelines. I think it's much better. Here it is:

#HOOK BEGINS#

When a séance in a Manchester hotel goes horribly wrong it leaves one woman dead and child medium Mary Ward in institutional care. Fourteen years later, Mary lives a quiet life, forgotten in a mental hospital on the outskirts of the city. Her dangerous gift is subdued by antipsychotic drugs - until she becomes the centre of a deadly struggle between two men. Dr Steven Brady is a disgraced clinical psychologist, an alcoholic with a stained conscience trying to bury his past. Billy Crawford is a preacher, a self-styled messenger of God scarred inside and out by a lifetime of brutality. One man is driven by guilt, the other by the cold voice in his head. One will risk everything for his chance of atonement; the other will stop at nothing to rid the world of Mary's curse. But there is more to Mary's power than even she realises, and no-one is safe once it breaks free - least of all the girl each man sees as his salvation.

#HOOK ENDS#

Comments welcome, of course.

Now I'm going to look at some of the mega agencies I've got on my shortlist...

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